1. Communication. Communication is important because the rumor mill can be rough. Well Bob, Susie didn't kiss Fred. Fred was just making that up to get a rise out of you and you took him seriously. You never said a thing to Susie about it, you just said you want to break up. That is what we call bad communication. Why is it important to communicate well in an LDR? Well, it's important in every relationship, really, but the reason why it's so important is because you don't want to have any misunderstandings that would ruin a potentially great relationship. So, rather than sticking with your gut instinct that something is up...talk to your partner about it. Find out their side of the story, from them, not someone else, and work from there.
2. Trust. Once again, another ingredient that's important in any relationship anyway. It's vital to trust your partner because if there is no trust, there is no future. Take a look at Tom. He loves Betty more than anything, even though she lives five states away. She's everything he's ever wanted and she's gorgeous to boot. So gorgeous that it seems like every week she's having to turn down yet another guy. Tom is afraid that someday she'll find a guy in her hometown who's more attractive to her than he is, and that she'll leave him for the new guy. Though she has told him time and time again that she loves him and wouldn't do such a thing, he still has this doubt. This is what we call lack of trust. If you want your LDR to work, you must trust that your partner means it when they say they won't leave you, or that they won't hit on other members of the opposite (or same, depending on the situation) sex.
3. Effort. You must be willing to put effort into the relationship for it to work. You want your partner to feel wanted in the relationship, and you want him or her to feel like you really want to be in the relationship. Neglecting them when they're in a time of need or making plans with someone else when you already had plans with your partner are two very BAD things to do. Also, it doesn't hurt to send them a message of some sort saying "I'm thinking about you" once in a while.
4. Love/Romance. Just because you aren't close by doesn't mean romance has to die. You want to be in the LDR, right? Well, that's obviously going to take some special feelings. Send your partner a greeting card on their birthday! Dress up and get on web cam for them for Valentine's Day! Even the smallest of gestures, like leaving an "I love you!" comment on MySpace or in an email is enough to leave them smiling for hours.
5. Compromise. In order to be in an LDR, sacrifices have to be made. Your buddy's having a party the same night that your girl's parents decide to announce that they're getting a divorce. You've been planning to go to this party for weeks now, but it's clear that your girl REALLY needs your support right now. So what do you do? Tell your buddy that you're sorry you can't make it, but you'll talk to him later. Then, comfort your girl; she needs it, and will appreciate the gesture of you staying home instead of going out drinking with friends. You can always reschedule anyway.
6. Time. This one should be self-explanatory. Always always ALWAYS find a way to make time for one another, even if it means canceling plans with a friend. This kind of goes in with number five because time is a precious thing to us humans, and we value it greatly, but once again, sacrifices must be made. You haven't talked to your boyfriend in a month because both of you have been busy with school and work. Both of you have the night off, so rather than talk to him, you hang out with your co-workers at a bar all night, right? ....Wrong. You see those co-workers at work anyway! Sit down, talk to your boyfriend, and make him happy.
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